An Ode to Our Nutsacks

“Our nuts are all natural, and free range

Your nuts are confined, restricted and caged

Bring our nuts out in public and you’ll have friends abound

Pull your nuts out in public and you’ll be taking a trip “downtown”

Our Nutsacks are full of protein; they make a delicious, healthy snack

Your nuts have protein too, but let’s not talk about that

Our Nutsacks are huge; the largest is a full pound monster

If yours are that big, something’s wrong, please see a doctor

Our nuts are more fresh than the Prince of Bel-Air

Because we have fun, and pack them with great care

Seriously though, try our nuts, and taste for yourself

Our nuts are delicious, nutritious and good for heart health

And if you’re not convinced our nuts are the best you’ve ever had

We’ll buy them back, no questions asked, we won’t even be mad”